Monday 19 September 2011

Growing up among the Tory voting mind set

I've just noticed the BBC news site has an article on Sandhurst, the Military Academy. It reminds me that in the early to mid 1970s, aged 11 to 16, I attended a military boarding school in Dover. The Duke Of York's Royal Military School. And I remember my mum was always hoping or assuming I'd go on to Sandhurst afterwards.

The grown-ups of my childhood were, I believe, mostly Tory voting working class. Though my mum did have at least ONE best friend, Ann Edwards, who voted for the Liberal Party. And as 2 of my dad's favourite men were Bertrand Russell and George Bernard Shaw, I like to think he was SECRETLY voting for the left.

Putting a creative, imaginative, super bright and sensitive fairy boy child such as myself into a military school AND also expecting Sandhurst to follow, seems to me to be so typical of the blinkered Tory voting mind set.

I also remember when I was about 17, after I left school, and my Nan (my mum's mum) discovered that I was left wing, she assumed it must be the influence of my friends and not the result of my own intelligent autonomy. How insulting. I remember her argument was "we've always voted Tory" and therefore that should be reason enough for me to vote tory also. And again, I feel, SO typical of the tory mind set.

Speaking of which here is another classic example of Toryism via both my nan and my friend's nan .... titled: "there were moments when Nan could be a real cunt."

... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/6020910123/ ...

MEANWHILE ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5601020746/ ...

Tuesday 17 May 2011

YEAR ZERO

... in the first 6 months of 2000 I was experiencing a fair number of days taking doses of LSD ... and that also became the last period in my life so far that I ever used it too ... Albert Hofmann I think expressed the view that "LSD My Problem Child" should be experienced sparingly and thoughtfully, not too casually ...

... one of those very first few Lysergic inspired days of 2000 were filmed as my group video project for Westminster Uni ...

.... Of course by July of that year I was undressing in front of New Scotland Yard and that whole adventure began ... ("The Unclothed Human Appearance In Public Space At The Start Of The 21st Century" ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/sets/72157625723827797/ ...)

... I was writing my dissertation, by hand, in a prison seg cell during the xmas holiday of my final year at Westminster Dec 2000/Jan 2001 ...

... "They stole the bicycle of Albert Hofmann , and used its lysergic resonance to power Mr Nobody's presidential campaign. " ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotherhood_of_Dada ,,,

Thursday 12 May 2011

the 51st state

It's my 51st birthday today. I am now older than my dad. He was a few months short of his 51st when he died back in 1970. (I'm also way older than my older brother, he was only 32 when he od'd on heroin in 1985).


It has been an interesting personal year. Good and bad, but ultimately pretty good. Most of the bad stuff contributed to an overall interesting learning experience.


In May last year I decided to technically and symbolically register with the tax office as a self employed artist and in September 2010 I was shortlisted for Guggenheim and Google's PLAY with my 999 DAYS video ... ( "Introducing the Shortlist" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWVCdIweVOo )


I've continued with most of my local unwaged commitments and added a few more; though it's a shame I fell out with the Tree Musketeers. Also since last summer I've had a small hourly wage distributing the Hackney Citizen at the start of each month; and inside the paper my fumetti COMMONPLACE just had its 2nd anniversary.


I had the first time experience last year of meeting a friend face2face who I first met and got to know on Facebook. I hadn't previously met anyone from the internet before. And very soon we are going to experience living together. From Facebook to living together, there's a future movie in there I'm certain :)


There has been some family crap. My stepdad died at xmas. I spontaneously visited him about a month before he died and I felt we made a peace. We hadn't seen or communicated for nearly 6 years since my mum died. And as if it wasn't bad enough that my mum forgot to sign her will when she died, it also looks like my stepdad gave the flat to my (half) sister before he died .... when he met my mum in 1971 my mum owned a house, he owned just a suitcase. Also my sister did not give me the opportunity to say goodbye to him when it was known he was dying. Neither did she inform me that he had died, nor when his funeral took place. The first I knew of his death was an email from my aunt's neighbours saying "sorry" and assuming I knew.


There is a story to add later about my sister, I paid a surprise early morning visit to her recently, the 1st time we'd seen each other since mum died back in 2005. And there's a story to add about my aunt and her neighbours too.


Meanwhile, the last few months of my 50th year had a potential threat to my tenancy humming away in the background. I thwarted that potential threat at the last minute, but it was one of those negative experiences that was interesting; it was interesting because it made me think about the possibility and consequences of losing this flat (there are pluses and minuses to an enforced move out), but it was also interesting because of the reaction from some friends which I will write about in more detail later.


I also carried a heavy unshared secret for some months recently. And that was an interesting experience also. Generally I'm a sharer (if not an oversharer :), but partly because of the experience I had with some friend's bizarre reactions to my potential homelessness I decided not to share this other deeper information. And again it was a learning experience ultimately and I've come through it on my own etc :) I'll write and talk about it eventually.


What else is there? Some great new friends, both face2face and virtual.


My short lived but well received bEy0nd thE plAnEt Of thE ApEs bar night ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/folkushackney/sets/72157625566745194/ ... And my first LIVE appearance, at DUCKIE ,after about 15 years ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5382096784/ ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5382096382/ ... (my last live appearance was also at Duckie in the late 90s).


More later ....

Saturday 30 April 2011

being and time

... My fundamental beliefs are not rooted in any one religion and not in marxism etc neither ... I swim with Mary Poppins, the Doctor, The Invisibles and The Authority etc.

‎... there have been moments in my life when other people's JudgementsAccusationsAssumptions about me are so way way off the mark :) like (back in the late 1980s/start of the 90s) when the freshly deposed founders of ACT-UP London accused me of being Maoist or some such :)

... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Poppins_%28film%29
... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_%28Doctor_Who%29
... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invisibles
... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Authority

‎... when I was naked in jail, xmas 2000, the thing I probably missed most (after my general liberty) was the latest issues of The Authority :) ...

... and I replied to Marx in 2010's London march against the pope's visit :)
... http://conformandobey.co.uk/word.html ...

Monday 11 April 2011

entrainment and conformity

.. as an outsider, primarily viewing america through it's fictions, all the telly and movie cultural colonisation I've grown up with my whole life, and I'm nearly 51, it seems to me that america's youth are put through an AWFUL LOT of hierarchical (conformity inducing) hoops and rituals.

All that prom night stuff for starters etc,

and FLAGS IN THEIR CLASSROOMS for fucks sake. What a nightmare. (Or at least there were flags when I visited a school in Pennsylvania one day in 1970, but I imagine they are still there).

Plus earlier today I was reading an article (relating to a new movie) about how american students have to share a student sleeping room. HOW VERY conformity inducing. Don't ever allow young people to wander off with their OWN thoughts, ensure they don't stray too far in private, no, far too dangerous) (In my head I hear that last sentence being read in John Lydon's voice :)

Thursday 7 April 2011

Of all the activists I've encountered over the decades ...

... the armchair AND the genuinely active varieties of activists all included, there's a recurring type, who are so blatantly stuck in some hellishly pessimistic 20th century gloom; like they're still stuck in the depressed period of the central character from Groundhog Day.



I tend to think of these types as the Two eMs - Misery and Meglomania; their beliefs are rooted in a VERY old fashioned, paranoid and dark 20th C idea about the sorry state of our common reality, compounded with a convenient habit of screening out all information that might contradict their hackneyed one-dimensional interpretations of the way of the world today



Yes they do have a lot in common with religious types don't they. Especially as they too believe in an ultimatepuppetmaster behind simply EVERYTHING.



And always these activists tend to personally "KNOW THE TRUTH" and tend to preach that most everyone else is stupid and duped and distracted etc :)



Plus of course like all of us these miserable activist individuals are complex and they often have many genuinely good and special qualities too.

Monday 14 March 2011

ad hominem

... yesterday morning (Sunday) I discovered a comment that was actually written a couple of weeks ago in the Hackney Citizen; in it I'm accused of being a pseudo-anarchist-control-freak.

What an insult.

Pseudo-anarchist-control-freaks are so very last century.

If you have to label me, then you could at least make the effort to catch up. I'm an anarcho-transhumanist-fairy sweetie.

Wednesday 9 March 2011

meanwhile on page 11

... http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=1444721&page=11

... including ex police officer "Deep Purple" who has now twice attempted to recontextualise me as that old simplistic sitcom stereotype - Wolfie Smith. I replied that this says more about his own mind than having anything to do with me. And that one simply has to google me to see that I am something far more original and multi-dimensional.

Tuesday 8 March 2011

power

... over on Digitalspy, forum member Keiƍ Line said: "While I initially dismissed the suggestion on the first page that you are simply attention seeking, under the condition known as "persecution chic", I am being drawn to this as an explanation of your action and attitude."

... http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=1444721&page=8

... To which I replied as Biomorph04: "Persecution chic would imply that I felt like some kind of a victim. But I don't and I never have. I do not identify with victim culture nor your persecution chic. I am a confident citizen who believes there are no masters."

Thursday 3 March 2011

Being prevented from taking photos outside a train station in London 3rd Mar 2011



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tscA6LIjqw

TED

"Dear Russell, Thank you for entering TED’s inaugural Ads Worth Spreading initiative. We deeply appreciate your interest in this effort and though we were not able to award your work this year, we are honored by your participation."

Sunday 27 February 2011

THAT FUCKING SWASTIKA

... I notice that pesky nazi swastika video, which has dogged my most popular YouTube video for an entire year, is now more prominent than ever. Now it pops up at the end as the "next featured video" despite no longer appearing in the right hand column.

... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0O6OWUL3k ...

... last year I asked the Guggenheim if they'd have a word with Google and get the swastika video removed. It used to be prominently positioned in the right hand column. And it WAS promptly removed (I'd also requested my Bath video to be restored after it was censored due to a ridiculous false claim of "hate speech". And that was restored. Thank you Guggenheim). But as I say, I now discover that despite the swastika continuing to be absent from the right hand column, it is now newly positioned and even more extremely prominent on screen right after my video has finished.

... screen shot: http://www.blipfoto.com/view.php?id=997341&month=2&year=2011

Saturday 19 February 2011

LUCID

... NEW free MP3 ...

... Citizen Higgs "LUCID" ...

... http://www.last.fm/music/Citizen+Higgs/_/LUCID ...

Monday 31 January 2011

that Berlin wall moment ...

... I remember when the Berlin wall came down and someone from East Berlin said to the western TV person "it's NOT A ONE WAY STREET. YOU THE WEST HAVE THINGS AND SKILLS TO LEARN FROM US IN THE EAST AND FROM OUR EXPERIENCES LIVING UNDER TOTAL REGIMES."

‎... the example of a SKILL that this man from the east could teach us, was, he said, the skill of extracting information about what is going on in your country from a media that is ultra-controlled. I liked him. I was glad I saw that blip of TV and it was that LUCID man from the east :)

my step-dad

... I think my step-dad died sometime around xmas. But not one relative has actually contacted me to tell me anything. I know no details. I learned he was dead via an email from my aunt's NEIGHBOURS, saying "sorry to hear about Alan." They assumed SOMEONE FROM THE FAMILY would have contacted me about it. THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO CONTACT ME HERE IN THE 21st CENTURY.

... fortunately I had spontaneously visited him not long before he died. We made a good peace with one another I believe. He said he knows I am fundamentally a GOOD MAN.

‎... when he first met my mum in the early 1970s, he owned little more than a suitcase, with shirt collars that were too tight for him. He worked in a second hand magazine and bookshop in Shaftesbury Avenue, the West End.

‎... My mum owned our house in Crouch End, North London. My dad had died just the year before. I was in my first year at military boarding school in Dover.

... For the past 5 years, since my mum died, my step-dad was in the Chelsea Pensioners. Before we ever knew him he was a drum major in the Grenadier Guards.

... http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=6109398&l=d3a8431f70&id=526724739

... in that Facebook photo my step-dad looks like Blakey from On The Buses ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Buses

BEING JUDGED

.. to the man in the face2face world who yesterday seemed to have arrived at some bizarre negative judgment about me AND who seems to have run away scared ... if you're reading this ... I don't know if you know that I'm currently celibate and that my celibacy isn't something I plan to give up lightly ... plus, I thought all these months we were forming a *friendship* first ... were you only thinking about sex?

... mind you I'm reminded that last year someone who once I thought was a friend, someone I volunteered with locally, went and publicly implied on a local environment forum that perhaps I'm some kind of spook, some kind of undercover agent of the state :)

... and I 'm also reminded of something I experienced repeatedly during my Daily Self Portrait project, that it was often times clear that some individuals looking at my images and seeing something they couldn't easily pigeonhole or label would then opt for assuming something *negative* about my general state of being :) and despite never meeting me face2face etc nor knowing me at all :) And which was all the more odd for them to make such judgments because to me it was always so transparent that my portraits came out of a positive place of strength and curiosity and playfulness and love etc :)

shop

... in a shop yesterday, at the cash till, the shop assistant clocked my large self portrait badge and firstly asked if it was me. Then she asked "are you a clown?". I replied that I was a sort of clown, "I'm an artist". And she said "It's BEAUTIFUL." And she insisted that the woman in the Q behind me take a look. "Isn't that BEAUTIFUL" she said :)

‎... I assumed the woman behind just wanted me to pay and go, but she said "yes it's lovely". :)

My Large 3.5 inch BADGEs ... http://www.cafepress.co.uk/higgsemporium2.401171056

the end

... I went to the theater last week. Am glad I went, I learnt stuff etc, but I didn't FEEL anything. In fact I found it a bit too theatrical. But the audience seemed to love it and at the end they mostly all stood up while applauding. And I didn't stand. I thought, I really *didn't* feel anything and so if I stood up it would be just because of a feeling of peer pressure and it'd be dishonest of me.

Tuesday 25 January 2011

bEy0nd thE plAnEt 0f thE ApEs

....NEWS UPDATE ... I've been thinking a LOT about what's important and what do I want re being LIVE and HOSTING a social event blah blah blah .... and I've decided that bEy0nd thE plAnEt 0f thE ApEs needs to be *really* stretchy and amorphous. NOT just an evening in a bar.

‎... Therefore THE very NEXT bEy0nd will NOT be this Thursday downstairs at Olive ... It will instead begin as a daylight walking narrative tour ... maybe a few buses too so bring your oysters ... date to yet be announced, probably a weekend day :) ... Hope to see you there x

Archive: http://www.flickr.com/photos/folkushackney/sets/72157625566745194/

Sunday 23 January 2011

LIVE

... http://duckie.co.uk/ ...

A culture's power structure depends largely on how we look and how we are looked at.

UNDRESSING:Russell Higgs Live Onstage @ Duckie 22Jan2011
http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5382096784/

... VIDEO ... 17 December 2000: Russell Higgs @ Downing Street
... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSKTneEC2gc

... PHOTO ALBUM ... The Unclothed Human Appearance In Public Space At The Start Of The 21st Century
... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/sets/72157625723827797/


DRESSING UP: Russell Higgs Live Onstage @ Duckie 22Jan2011
http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5382096382/

... VIDEO ... 999 DAYS IN 3 MINUTES
... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0O6OWUL3k ...

... PHOTOS: daily self portrait photo archive
... http://russellhiggs.shutterchance.com/archive.php

Friday 14 January 2011

Emporium

‎... LARGE 3.5 inch BADGES ... 10 pack

... http://www.cafepress.co.uk/higgsemporium2.401171056 ...

temporary flickr censorship

... I see flickr's dastardly restrictions are tighter and pettier than I'd first assumed and you need to be *signed-in* to flickr to see my pics.


meanwhile and with that in mind, here's my new kitty powered fumetti ...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/5352848648/

Monday 3 January 2011

make up make up never never break up

.. It always fascinates me that so many men are attracted to people who daily cover their faces with paint.

And it is also interesting that the people who lead the way in mainstream acceptance of artificiality (cosmetic surgery etc) are women.

... personally I'm just not *sexually* attracted to faces with make-up on and therefore I find it a genuinely curious thing that so many men are attracted to people wearing makeup. Obviously though I can still appreciate great looking madeup faces etc :)

... I do also think it a curious thing that so many people, predominantly women, consider it ordinary and/or a necessity to paint their faces every day :) I'm not criticising make-up, by the way, I'm just saying it is kind of surreal that it's normal, when you think about it :)

irony


... my censored flickr:

... ironically the one image (from 2007) that remains visible to all, it was itself temporarily censored once upon a time and then reinstated by flickr as being officially "safe"; thus it remains visible today when all else since 2004 are currently sodding invisibilised by flickr to any casual visitor who has default "safe-search" settings.

... http://www.flickr.com/photos/russell-higgs/376538369/ ...