Monday, 31 January 2011

that Berlin wall moment ...

... I remember when the Berlin wall came down and someone from East Berlin said to the western TV person "it's NOT A ONE WAY STREET. YOU THE WEST HAVE THINGS AND SKILLS TO LEARN FROM US IN THE EAST AND FROM OUR EXPERIENCES LIVING UNDER TOTAL REGIMES."

‎... the example of a SKILL that this man from the east could teach us, was, he said, the skill of extracting information about what is going on in your country from a media that is ultra-controlled. I liked him. I was glad I saw that blip of TV and it was that LUCID man from the east :)

my step-dad

... I think my step-dad died sometime around xmas. But not one relative has actually contacted me to tell me anything. I know no details. I learned he was dead via an email from my aunt's NEIGHBOURS, saying "sorry to hear about Alan." They assumed SOMEONE FROM THE FAMILY would have contacted me about it. THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO CONTACT ME HERE IN THE 21st CENTURY.

... fortunately I had spontaneously visited him not long before he died. We made a good peace with one another I believe. He said he knows I am fundamentally a GOOD MAN.

‎... when he first met my mum in the early 1970s, he owned little more than a suitcase, with shirt collars that were too tight for him. He worked in a second hand magazine and bookshop in Shaftesbury Avenue, the West End.

‎... My mum owned our house in Crouch End, North London. My dad had died just the year before. I was in my first year at military boarding school in Dover.

... For the past 5 years, since my mum died, my step-dad was in the Chelsea Pensioners. Before we ever knew him he was a drum major in the Grenadier Guards.


... in that Facebook photo my step-dad looks like Blakey from On The Buses ...


.. to the man in the face2face world who yesterday seemed to have arrived at some bizarre negative judgment about me AND who seems to have run away scared ... if you're reading this ... I don't know if you know that I'm currently celibate and that my celibacy isn't something I plan to give up lightly ... plus, I thought all these months we were forming a *friendship* first ... were you only thinking about sex?

... mind you I'm reminded that last year someone who once I thought was a friend, someone I volunteered with locally, went and publicly implied on a local environment forum that perhaps I'm some kind of spook, some kind of undercover agent of the state :)

... and I 'm also reminded of something I experienced repeatedly during my Daily Self Portrait project, that it was often times clear that some individuals looking at my images and seeing something they couldn't easily pigeonhole or label would then opt for assuming something *negative* about my general state of being :) and despite never meeting me face2face etc nor knowing me at all :) And which was all the more odd for them to make such judgments because to me it was always so transparent that my portraits came out of a positive place of strength and curiosity and playfulness and love etc :)


... in a shop yesterday, at the cash till, the shop assistant clocked my large self portrait badge and firstly asked if it was me. Then she asked "are you a clown?". I replied that I was a sort of clown, "I'm an artist". And she said "It's BEAUTIFUL." And she insisted that the woman in the Q behind me take a look. "Isn't that BEAUTIFUL" she said :)

‎... I assumed the woman behind just wanted me to pay and go, but she said "yes it's lovely". :)

My Large 3.5 inch BADGEs ...

the end

... I went to the theater last week. Am glad I went, I learnt stuff etc, but I didn't FEEL anything. In fact I found it a bit too theatrical. But the audience seemed to love it and at the end they mostly all stood up while applauding. And I didn't stand. I thought, I really *didn't* feel anything and so if I stood up it would be just because of a feeling of peer pressure and it'd be dishonest of me.

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

bEy0nd thE plAnEt 0f thE ApEs

....NEWS UPDATE ... I've been thinking a LOT about what's important and what do I want re being LIVE and HOSTING a social event blah blah blah .... and I've decided that bEy0nd thE plAnEt 0f thE ApEs needs to be *really* stretchy and amorphous. NOT just an evening in a bar.

‎... Therefore THE very NEXT bEy0nd will NOT be this Thursday downstairs at Olive ... It will instead begin as a daylight walking narrative tour ... maybe a few buses too so bring your oysters ... date to yet be announced, probably a weekend day :) ... Hope to see you there x


Sunday, 23 January 2011


... ...

A culture's power structure depends largely on how we look and how we are looked at.

UNDRESSING:Russell Higgs Live Onstage @ Duckie 22Jan2011

... VIDEO ... 17 December 2000: Russell Higgs @ Downing Street

... PHOTO ALBUM ... The Unclothed Human Appearance In Public Space At The Start Of The 21st Century

DRESSING UP: Russell Higgs Live Onstage @ Duckie 22Jan2011

... ...

... PHOTOS: daily self portrait photo archive

Friday, 14 January 2011


‎... LARGE 3.5 inch BADGES ... 10 pack

... ...

temporary flickr censorship

... I see flickr's dastardly restrictions are tighter and pettier than I'd first assumed and you need to be *signed-in* to flickr to see my pics.

meanwhile and with that in mind, here's my new kitty powered fumetti ...

Monday, 3 January 2011

make up make up never never break up

.. It always fascinates me that so many men are attracted to people who daily cover their faces with paint.

And it is also interesting that the people who lead the way in mainstream acceptance of artificiality (cosmetic surgery etc) are women.

... personally I'm just not *sexually* attracted to faces with make-up on and therefore I find it a genuinely curious thing that so many men are attracted to people wearing makeup. Obviously though I can still appreciate great looking madeup faces etc :)

... I do also think it a curious thing that so many people, predominantly women, consider it ordinary and/or a necessity to paint their faces every day :) I'm not criticising make-up, by the way, I'm just saying it is kind of surreal that it's normal, when you think about it :)


... my censored flickr:

... ironically the one image (from 2007) that remains visible to all, it was itself temporarily censored once upon a time and then reinstated by flickr as being officially "safe"; thus it remains visible today when all else since 2004 are currently sodding invisibilised by flickr to any casual visitor who has default "safe-search" settings.

... ...